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| "Purge their minds of memories grim, Of pains from recent slights and sins. When the fire burns out, when the crystal turns black, the spell will be cast. Tabula Rasa, Tabula Rasa, Tabula Rasa." |
Buffy, anyone? For those that aren't familiar with the TV series, it had to do with the characters losing their memories and exploring what could happen if they did. In the end, everything gets set right... mostly.
Drama happens, both in character and out. The trick is to balance the two and attempt to keep the two worlds separate, but it can be difficult sometimes. If two people are dating, it's not uncommon for their characters to also end up together, either one or many. You find a really good role player who thinks you are also a good role player, and you'll end up wanting to RP all the time because it is just so fun to do so. You get to know the player behind the character, and that extends to any type of playstyle within any game. I met one of my best friends through World of Warcraft, and it had nothing to do with RP. Relationships form, bonds are forged, and life is great.
But what happens when things start to turn sour in real life? If you find yourself not being able to RP, raid, PvP or whatever with that person you used to like doing said things with because of real life problems? The answer is always much more simple than the execution, especially when it comes to RP and keeping it afloat. Can all parties involved simply stick to RP? Is it healthy to even do so? Does a retcon need to take place? These are all really good questions, some I find myself asking.
My current Lycannon storyline has been almost a year in the making. It is my last story, as I plan on taking a break from creating them for a while. As such, I wanted it to last as long as it has, though it has been sluggish lately from me getting a new job and general lack of interest in the game itself as of late. Those who know my Lycannon also know she's been through hell and back, and gone through a ton of stuff, but she's not the only one. Every character that has been involved with her stories and her past has also earned their colors, as usually they are the ones jumping into the fray with her, either to get her out of danger or help her overcome something for someone else. Usually it's the former because Lycannon attracts trouble like a moth to flame. That's just how she is, and it is her most outstanding flaw - Bad luck. She has always had it. Tie that in with raging berserker and free spirit, and well, you have my lovely warrior. As I've come to get to know people and make friends, her direction changed from the general perspective I started with (in the World of Warcraft, at least,) to what she is now, two years later.
The people and their characters I've come in contact with all had a hand in shaping my main character. For instance, Lycannon originally had three children, all of which were dead when I began to RP her. Over time I created stories and thought 'what if', and went with it. Somehow she ended up with six, and the added three all came after I met the friends I did. One of these children came to be because a friend of mine needed a backstory for a character, and asked if the character could be Lycannon's kid. I said sure, why not? Because really, why not? I always try to do my best to accommodate people if they want to RP with me or be a part of my stories, because I think it is important to keep the mindset of: 'How would my character be involved' instead of: 'My character wouldn't do that because..." You don't find RP by thinking of reasons not to, after all.
To bring this all to a point, Lycannon is/was/something married to a man named McSars. The player of this character and I became really close, and the person was a really great role player. McSars became my favorite character because most people don't want to RP an actual soldier type, one that has believable trauma and a believable broken mindset to go along with the age that would match it. While the player may not have seen or intended to have much depth with the character, I had thought that these traits were actually what gave him the deepness that a lot of good characters lack. If one was sharp enough, one would realize that the reasons this character may be berating another aren't just because he is the 'soldier type', but because he is the soldier type that has seen enough shit to last a lifetime. If you saw a horde of undead slavering to gnaw at your guts, perhaps people you once knew (or at least knew to be human), you would not be alright after you managed to survive something that traumatic. I know I definitely wouldn't be alright even though I might seem like it if I had to experience something like that. Those with PTSD are the same way. It's the same concept, and I hardly see it translate or executed well in a setting where almost everyone should have it, like World of Warcraft. So, McSars became my favorite because his depth was not so glaringly obvious, he was believable, and he was not a shiny hero.
I really loved to role play with this character, and both Lycannon and McSars developed over the past two years we spent RPing them together. They were married. They had a kid. Most importantly, they had to learn to be human (or well, you get my drift). Lycannon was emotion. McSars was logic. Both were in the extreme ends of the spectrum. Because of that, the characters worked very well together, and gave me what will probably be the best RP I've ever done. It was awesome, and unfortunately it stopped.
Real life problems affected the role play, and despite efforts to reconcile, we just could not make it work. I kept my characters either suspended or I kept playing in character as if nothing ever happened in real life, and that has gone for the Born this Way story that is currently in progress. Honestly, I was not sure what to do with the characters that had ties to this player's. Could I completely erase the past two years and pretend it never happened for them? I don't believe I was ready to at the time, which is why I kept going how I have so far. Lycannon is confident that her broken knight will come find her where she is. He is the love of her life, her husband, and he has come through for her so many times before. Of course, I knew this was not going to happen and had for some time into the story, but Lyc won't find out until the end... And what will she find out?
It really is unfortunate that I doubt I will be able to RP with McSars' player again. Part of me was still a bit hopeful that one day we could pick it up again without any inclination to real life. Two people, simply RPing. Of course, it is never as simple as that, and the hammer has recently fallen on the character I loved to RP with. In his place, I have been given a shell of his former glory in the form of an NPC, cast off to make room for a new version of McSars that I will consider alternate universe. It is a bit of a slap in the face, as I was never approached about the change, but it is what it is. It is a shame, and I am deeply saddened.
So what will I do with Lycannon? Kaludra? I do not know. For now, I will continue with my story the way I had thought it out, and figure out the ending as I go.
